In the wild WEST.
In the wild WEST.
The popular actor of theatre and cinema Alexander Shirvindt in
Commonwealth with critic Boris Pojurovsky have let out in the Moscow
Publishing house "п?п п?я я п©п?п п пЁя п я " the book "the Past without thoughts".
It brightly and talently revives episodes from a life of people
Arts, whose names remain popular and liked till now.
We bring to attention of readers some pages from this book.
I am not able to grow old at all, and for a long time it would be necessary to learn. Earlier,
When were younger, to live it was easier in the absence of variants.
Grew, liked, did not know, that we live in a torture chamber, knew, that on
The wild West "Uncle Sam". Who is such, I do not know till now,
Though outwardly it well to myself I represent on drawings Kukryniksov.
All has turned over! Great Kukryniksy in the evening of life convulsively
Proved, that basically they made out Gogol, and infinite
Caricatures on "that world" in the form of worm vypolzkov is a hobby.
Sergey Mikhalkov became at last exclusively children's writer, and in
Him blood of its children of noble family again has begun to flow. Kozakov has left in
Israel also has replaced there, not knowing the language, all country leaders. And
It has made it in sober mind and firm memory, and if, God forbid,
It will break and will get drunk, will instantly attach to Israel
Jordan, and Golan heights from mad eyes will give Holland.
In the summer of 1992 the circle of ours with Derzhavin of tours has become isolated on
To service of the limited contingent of the Soviet Jews in that
The world. We have visited Australia - further Jews are not present, and if on
The South Pole on an ice floe any cold-resistant also sits
The native from Chernovtsy at it is not present, obviously, relaying
From Moscow and he does not know a plate, that Derzhavin - husband Roksana
Babayan... Ah! Abroad! As a rule, it became and "is perfectly in order
Exchange ". We to them, they for it to us (though is more correct on the contrary).
Well Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, Hungary - with it is easier, but sometimes
Casually there was Italy. By means of mystical circumstances
The province Reggio nell'Emilia has suddenly appeared procommunistic
Orientations. The Senator-millionaire too wanted communism and, having looked,
Too, naturally, casually, epoch-making product
V.Majakovskogo "Bug" at satire Theatre, has decided, that a problem
oburzhuazivanija the proletariat is excited extremely with all population
Reggio nell'Emilia, and urgently it is necessary to show this performance in Padue,
To Bologna, Venice and other "provincial" cities of Italy...
The huge two-storeyed bus rushed the glorified theatrical
Collective across autumn Italy. It was cheerful, thoughtless,
raskreposhchenno... It is approached on motel near Milan in the Evening.
Huge the motel, bearing a faint resemblance sanatorium of 4th
Managements, were deserted is dead - in him the autumn deficiency reigned. And
Suddenly such unexpected pleasure - the huge bus has approached with
People, also lobby chandeliers have instantly flashed, fires were lighted
On restaurant kitchen, from street through windows of the ground floor to members
The amazed glorified collective it became visible, as have begun to knock
Knifes in hands of cooks as waiters in the restaurant have begun to worry
To hall.
The collective prepared for an unloading and settlement... "kilovattniki not
To switch on! I will kill! "- Anatoly Dmitrievicha's command-appeal was distributed
Papanov, and the collective has looked down looks... The matter is that vedernyj
The boiler (in prostoreche "kilovattnik") already repeatedly broke
Foreign tours of the glorified collective. Calculated on
Huge bucket and connected, obviously, directly to Dneprogesu,
It did not get in any way into the enameled mugs, was not connected to a network
Even through artful adapters in the form of two bared wires,
Fastened on the Soviet matches, and, that the most mean, closed
Electric network of safety locks of any hotel. Carried it
Some violent heads exclusively because of speed of boiling in
Any capacity where it managed to be entered, up to a bidet. So,
The glorified collective proshestvoval by obliging porters and
Fawning headwaiters to lifts and, having received keys, became
To take places. Has passed minutes six after arrival glorified
Collective, in motel the familiar sound of the burst has sounded
Balloon, also the darkness has come. zasheburshivshijsja collective
Has crept out of numbers with shouts: - After all warned! It is impossible
To be cut by all at once... That for zhlobstvo!. - Sokovnin! I will kill! -
Has blocked all hubbub Papanov's imperiously-angry shout... Obviously,
Roofing felt has suspected JUrochku Sokovnina of overindulgence with kilovattnikom, and
Now the glorified collective led by Papanov to the touch
It was started up on searches of guest performer-infringer Sokovnina to withdraw
Heating up means and to punish, if it will be possible.
Light have given not at once, because as it was found out, Sokovnin
Has cut down not only hotel, and all phase of microdistrict. After occurrence
Light and some stabilisation of moods those who has supper without
Heating (cheese, bread, water from under the crane), have gone down in a hall and
Were carelessly stretched in armchairs, having intellectual conversations about
Volume who of that has eaten. In restaurant doors there was all collective
Institutions, including cooks, and with horror of misunderstanding looked on
The living. As! Having approached in the evening in motel, having settled,
Having washed and having gone down in a hall any from sixty three
The arrived has not approached to the door at all restaurant and a bar...
"Aliens!" - it has been written on persons of employees. And because of them
Backs "smelt fried", something boiled and, apparently,
It was served. Ah, stagnation tours! Near to motel it was stretched
svezheubrannoe a corn field... Actors left in the morning to breathe
Fresh air, did in the field gymnastics - bows forward and in
The parties - with simultaneous collecting enough a plentiful crop
Corn as even there losses at cleaning are great enough.
In general, if correctly to construct the life abroad, not
To revel own fanaberiej, to live it is possible. The darling, lovely,
Kind and naive dead Danja Kadanov hesitated, for example,
To rummage in the ploughed field, but in a recreation park
Any Milan, sitting at a fountain with a crust of black bread,
Was engaged small change (exchange) with manual belochkami,
Scurrying about on avenues... Natives fed belochek with bananas,
Oranges, walnuts. Danja, having seen in paws of the squirrel
The next product, drew its attention a crust of black bread,
Which for it was exotic. The squirrel jumped to Danechke on
Knees, that imperceptibly took away from it a nut or the taken a bite banana and
Waited the following victim. Only very far-sighted and serious
Actors were able to be prepared for long tours correctly.
For example, to hungry Italy. Fops of type me with Andrjushej
Mironov pretended, that will live humanly, not
krohoborstvovat: "Lines with them, with belongings! - once we live" and
Etc. All these foppish moods came to an end in a second after
Landings, but... Was already late... Is it would be desirable, and in
Suitcases except a curve stick of dry sausage - anything... Began
Torments of vagrancy with the stretched hand. Rome! Glorified
The collective is settled in suburban motel, where at each of
"pervachej" the cottage and a lawn at him. Cottages all not
Are numbered, and have ekzotichesko-botanical names -
"Lily", "Rose", "Edelweiss". Having washed in "Rose" and having bitten off on
To piece of smoked sausage, we with the prime minister began to think: to whom?
The choice was insignificant, for the law of tour jungle is very severe.
Through a lawn the cottage "Edelweiss" - a place was cosy shone
Residing Spartaka of Vasilyevich Mishulina. Having hesitated for a time
Minute-other, we short dashes have crossed a lawn and
poskreblis at a door always hospitable, but the extremely cautious
Spartaka...
- Who? - We have heard a scaredly-hoarse voice of the owner, as
As if in far Siberian a witness mark unexpectedly have knocked in in the winter
Door. - Spartachok, it we.
- One?
- One...
- Now...
The sound something removed was distributed, light has then gone out,
The key, and in a small crack of a half-open door we has turned
Have squeezed into dwelling. And "Edelweiss" dwelling, it is necessary to tell, was
Is surprisingly magnificent-cosy... The Huge hall with a carpet, a fireplace and
The TV, low armchairs about the varnished table, to the right -
Deep alcove with extremely wide bed and in the distance for
Oak door "the combined site" in size of metres in thirty, with
Deep bathroom-pool, a bidet, a double toilet bowl etc. All
It stood on white marble to a floor with podsvetami... Closeness and a heat
In "Edelweiss" stood impossible for all windows have been closed,
Metal jalousie are lowered and dark curtains are drawn.
The guest performer, barefooted, in long boxer shorts and is more in what,
Has hospitably told: - Well... Have got hungry? And I warned!
Have gone!.
In the distance, in the bathroom centre, the fire burnt... On marble to a floor
The asbestos piece laid (for isolation), there was kostrovaja a tripod,
The copper hung, and burning economically dry spirit warmed up the gurgling
Soup... Nearby there was an open big suitcase with the proceeding
Product. There there was everything, including Mozhaisk milk... In the given
The moment cooked an ear from a saury. The owner has distributed collapsible spoons and
Has invited to a copper. Prepared Spartak it is plain, but it is very nourishing.
The trouble consisted that ogolodavshie colleagues and the owner
Never could wait definitive readiness of food and
Started to sup a half-finished product. On a measure szhiranija a contained copper
There was a danger of undereating, and on a meal course in a copper
This or that product from a suitcase rushed. So, I never
I will forget surprising flavouring sensation, when in the same to an ear (it
Firm tour dish Mishulina) have poured in to bank of the sweet
sgushchenki... Spartak with the fire has passed many stage
The world. It cooked behind side scenes of Hamburg, in a make-up room of Budapest, on
To roadside avtobana Berlin-Zurich...
Igor NAUMOV.
<$>
//* an information Source: the Parliamentary newspaper, 17.05.02
//* Reg. Nom. - 1120500108.17-------------------------------------------
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