The great joke.
The great joke.
Once Brams accompanied the violoncellist and purposely played
Too loudly, to muffle its bad game. The violoncellist
Remained it is dissatisfied.
- You so loudly played, that I did not hear myself.
- The lucky person! - the composer has responded.
*** Once Borodin has gone with the wife abroad. At check
Passports the boundary official has suddenly asked Borodino as call
His wife. The composer, differing absent-mindedness, could not in any way
To recollect a name of the wife and was silent. The official suspiciously looked
On it. At this time Ekaterina Sergeevna has entered into a room! Borodin
Has rushed to it: "Katya! For God's sake, what is your name?" *** the manufacturer,
Very corpulent person, has asked S.P.Botkin, whether he knows
Good means from a gout.
- I know, - the well-known doctor has responded. - to live daily on one
Rouble and besides most it to earn. Once Mark Twain stayed
At friends. As usual he smoked much, and ashes from it
Cigars were everywhere: on window sills, on a grand piano, near a fireplace.
Owners with awe have collected all it in a jar and have asked
Twain to inscribe on it a shortcut. The writer has left such autograph:
"I certify, what is it my ashes. S.L.Klemens".
*** Brams was considered as the big expert on wines. Once, when it was
On a visit, wine, and the owner rich was offered to it
The Hamburg merchant, smiling, has noticed: - Among wines of my cellar
This wine it is possible to name Brams!
Brams has tried wine and, having hesitated a little, has told to the owner:
- It will be good, if you send to a cellar for Beethoven.
*** If to believe great chemist D.I.Mendeleyev, tobacco,
It appears, benefits. Once artist J.D.Minchenkov
Has noticed:
- How it you, Dmitry Ivanovich, do not take care of nicotine?
Who-who, and scientists, undoubtedly, know its harm. - scientists say lies,
- Mendeleyev has responded. - I simply started up a smoke through cotton wool,
Sated with microbes, and uvidal, that it kills some of them.
Here, means, even the advantage is. *** once at Victor Hugo was
Urgent job. To lose possibility to come off it,
The writer has cut half a head and a beard, and scissors has thrown out in
Open window. It it has compelled itself to remain at home, while hair
Not otrastut and consequently smog finish job in the planned term.
*** After Johann Strauss's death there were many operettas,
Cut out from its melodies. To the first it has been put in 1899
"The Viennese blood" Muller-younger. After set of representations,
Which were sustained by an operetta, in one of the Viennese newspapers has appeared
Article where there were such lines: "Muller, having written an operetta on
Strauss's music, the stone house has acquired. If Strauss wrote operettas
On Muller's music, he would die with hunger ".
To French microbiologist Lui Pasteur the stranger has come and
It was presented by the second of a certain count. Sijatelnomu zhuiru
It seemed, as if the scientist has offended it. The count demanded
Satisfactions. Pasteur has easy listened to the messenger and has told: - Time
Me call on duel, I have the right to choose the weapon. Here two
Flasks: in one - the smallpox activator, in another - pure water. If
The person who has sent you, agrees to drain one of them on a choice, I
I drink from another. Duel, of course, has not taken place.
Once V.V. Stasov and I.S.Turgenev had breakfast together in
Restaurant. Talking about something, they have unexpectedly agreed in opinion.
Turgeneva it so has surprised, that he has there and then jumped because of a table,
Has run up to an open window and has shouted very high female
Voice: - Knit me, orthodox! Turgenev from mind has gone balmy: it
Has agreed with Stasov!
Once at closing of a student's exhibition in the become empty hall
The old man-peasant has entered and has asked of the permission to examine an exhibition.
- Tolstoy! - it was carried by among pupils, and all have rushed behind it.
Have approached to a picture, it is masterful written, on a bible subject.
- It that? It what for? - Tolstoy has almost exclaimed.
One of pupils has noticed:
- Why to you, Lion Nikolaevich, is not pleasant a picture? In it
The rich technics. - technics? And what such technics? - Has asked again
Tolstoy.
The pupil was:
- What is the technics are you, Lion Nikolaevich, read in
To "Anna Kareninoj" an explanation of artist Mihajlova. - Has forgotten, has forgotten,
- Lion Nikolaevich has cheerfully laughed, - for a long time read!
Having arrived from station in one of the London hotels, Mark Twain
Has seen in a blotter of visitors a mark: "Lord L with
The valet ". Also has in turn written down:" Mark Twain with a suitcase ".
Once writer Mark Twain was at evening at friends. Among
Invited there was also a lawyer; he talked to someone, holding
Hands in pockets. Improbably, - Twain, - that the lawyer has noticed
Held hands in the pockets!
The well-known children's fairy tale "Alisa in the country of miracles" has composed between
Business the teacher of the Oxford university Carroll. Having read
Its fairy tale, the queen of England Victoria was enraptured and has ordered
Immediately to buy for it Carroll's all other compositions.
What surprise of the queen when it has appeared, what is it works was
On higher mathematics.
Tell: when writer Ivan Aleksandrovich Goncharov
It has received news about death Turgeneva, which, as is known,
Considered as the sly fellow has mistrustfully said: - Pretends to be!
During rehearsal of one of oratorios of Sheet the orchestra played
Separately, and the composer, with disappointment having waved a conductor's baton,
Has exclaimed: - But, misters, same the cleanest water exhibition
Music!
For a second the dead silence, and then someone behind was established
Has grumbled: - So after all not we have composed it!
Tell, that French writer Alexander Duma cried,
When brave Porthos was lost under rock fragments. Duma-son tried
To console the father: - Unless it is impossible to help a grief, to alter the head? Unless
You cannot rescue Porthos? - Is not present, - sobbing, Duma-father has responded. -
There's nothing to be done, differently cannot be!
Muchimyj illness Bismarck has called for itself the well-known doctor.
Hardly having looked at the sick chancellor, the doctor has in detail told to it about
Its illnesses. Bismarck in extreme amazement has asked:
- How much people you have exhausted, while have reached the such
Perfection in diagnostics? - It is much less, than you, yours
The excellency while have reached this illness.
Before a premiere of an opera "Faust" Gounod have asked, how much
Approximately years to Faust. - the normal human age, - has responded
It, - sixty years. To Gounod was then forty.
After twenty years Gounods have asked the same leisure question.
- Normal human age: about eighty years, -
The composer has responded.
Twain wrote to one young man who complained, that his parents
"maloponjatlivy:" "Suffer. When to me was fourteen years, mine
The father was so is silly, that I hardly transferred it. But when to me
Twenty one year was executed, I have been amazed by that, how much and this
The old person for expired seven years has grown wiser ".
Pushkin for the freedom-loving verses which he not being afraid, read
In a society, has been banished on the south. Passing through Kiev, the poet has met
The friend, and that has asked, as it is Pushkin has come to be here. -
You can get anywhere if you know how to use your tongue, - Pushkin responded, hinting on the reasons
Dispatches.
The wife of one millionaire has asked artist K.P.Bryullov
To write its portrait. When the portrait was ready, the customer became
To be capricious: - I do not know, the right, but something is not pleasant to me...
Paints you, whether that, bad buy? - Well if speech has come about
Paints the portrait should be very similar... Because I them
I buy in that shop where you buy your blush!
Somehow in an auditorium the owner of a butcher's shop, to which sat
Mochalov has run into debt. That evening the great tragedian was "in blow". It
Game so has touched the shopkeeper, that he has cried on all theatre: -
On meat - kvit!
One foreign diplomat, having come on reception to the American
To the president to Avraam to the Lincoln, has found it behind cleaning of boots. -
As, you, the president, - was surprised the diplomat, - and clean to itself
Boots? - It is final, - the Lincoln has easy responded.
- And you to whom clean?
Being in Paris, well-known surgeon Nikolay Ivanovich Pirogov
Has decided to come into medical academy. Here nobody knew it, and it
Has modestly heard to lecture of professor Nelatona about the difficult new
The operation for the first time made Russian surgeon Pirogovym. Having finished
Explanation, professor Nelaton has offered someone from
Present to do this operation on a corpse. By the first it was called
Pies also has excellent repeated the operation. nelaton has offered
To send to Petersburg the telegramme with the message, that at Russian
The surgeon there was in Paris a worthy follower. - the colleague, as
To inform on you Pirogovu? Your surname?
- Pies...
When buried I.A.Krylov, any official has asked:
- Allow to learn, whom bury?
- The minister of national education, - someone from the going has responded
Behind a coffin. - as? Whether it is possible? Unless count Uvarov has died?
- Not Uvarov, and Ivan Andreevich Krylov!
- But Krylov the fabulist, and the minister - Uvarov...
- It is them mix. The present minister of national education
There was Krylov. And Uvarov wrote fables in the reports on education in
Russia.
Once well-known astronomer Struve, the director Pulkovsky
Observatories, admitted, that to it was not on itself, when the tsar with
Retinue, bemedalled, has visited Pulkovo. - understand, -
Spoke Struve, - I see weight of stars, and all not on the places.
Somehow, sitting at theatre, Rossini has whispered on an ear to the to the neighbour:
- The singer is bad improbably. First time in a life I hear the such
Terrifying singing. - Perhaps, it is better to you to go home? - Has offered
The neighbour.
- By no means, - it is live Rossini has responded, - at me is
Data, that in the third action the heroine should kill him. I
Would like to wait it.
<$>
//* an information Source: the Parliamentary newspaper, 21.12.01
//* Reg. Nom. - 1111200264.29-------------------------------------------
|
