The tool control: detours.
The tool control: detours.
IVAN SHTRAUH.
As is known, Moscow - a dump of old cars. That this stuff
Did not litter a city, and the annual tool has been thought up
The control. Though if to get accustomed, a true problem of the seasonal
Review of a motor pool of capital in correcting
Disastrous financial position of some employees
State traffic inspectorates.
All over the world the car not luxury. But only in our country
It means. For lawful withdrawal of money at citizens employees
GAI.
About one I ask - not to understand my complaints as slander on the fair
GAI officers. Those, undoubtedly, are available, and I do not doubt, them
The overwhelming majority. After all there are loaders-nondrinkers,
Lions-vegetarians and slepogluhonemye sea captains.
These are your problems, that you never met them.
One of the most correct and, I would tell, seasonal, earnings
Companions from GAI annual tool survey is
The transport which has been let out till 1994.
So, from height of the sixth floor I considered bezhevenkuju
Simeon Arkadevicha's "five" which that has just driven with
Car repair shops. Being the person of an old school, Simeon
Arkadevich tool survey fairly has decided to pass. Swindlers not
Will pass!
- I will not put a bribe it tolstozadym to parasites! - shouted
It on kitchen (truly for some reason dear employees
Car inspection very much korpulentny, precisely from the small
Salaries). Simeon Arkadevich has decided to prepare the car for the coming
ekzekutsii under the full program and those to show: there are people,
Capable to resist to rudeness and requisitions. Probably, in the
Feverous dreams Simeon Arkadevich even imagined to itself
The shamed workers of GAI, which after "five" survey
Seeds Arkadevicha should test something like pangs of conscience and
Bent for of a virtuous, fair life.
And therefore Simeon Arkadevich also has gone to the familiar master and
Has asked to serve its car under the full program. And it is necessary
To tell, that, despite the six years, the car at Simeon was
Licked and accurate: everyone boltik will tighten, in salon
Motes, a cursor, as heart shestnadtsatiletnej grammar-school girls,
Responded on any sign on attention. The only thing that excited
Seeds Arkadevicha, is a scratch on the right headlight. Therefore he has bought
New glass and with it has gone to car-care centre. In car-care centre
Have told, that glass domestic, and on Simeon's "five"
Arkadevicha - the Czech headlight. Therefore the new has been bought
Headlight and prishpandyrena to the place of the scratched. The engine to Simeon
Arkadevichu have cleaned, all bolts have checked up. Also have given out the car
Back with words: "And at you in GAI though acquaintances are?" On
That Simeon it is proud has told, that it fair.
I would like to look, what sight Simeon's mechanics spent
Arkadevicha.
With what the native land begins? Correctly, from darkness of pieces of paper.
First of all Simeon Arkadevich has gone to reconnoiter a disposition.
The tool control nearest to it - on Shodnensky
Journey. There he has found out infinite, as on funeral
Lenin-Stalin, turn. And has still found out, that before to pass
The tool control, it is necessary to fill a little kvitochkov. That
Is to pay taxes: road, from a vehicle, for
Checkup and for the tool control. Samples of filling of these
kvitochkov Simeon Arkadevich has found out already in GAI.
And here now, having attached on kitchen with forms, it
Diligently wrote off the settlement account and more any requisites.
- Spoke to you, give we will buy the new car, - mum grumbled,
Settled down on other end of a table with pelmeni. - on such
Large coaches at us already nobody goes.
- Four, a zero, four, a zero, eight, eight... You about what,
Asterisk? - Copying tsiferki, Simeon Arkadevich has asked again.
- I speak, for a long time it was necessary to buy the normal car and not
To suffer.
- Yes-yes, one, a zero, two, a zero, a zero, one, eight, three...
- My God, you hear me or not?! About what I now to you
Spoke?
- Zero, zero, zero, zero. E-e, - has reacted to increase
Voices Simeon Arkadevich it is, of course, absolutely right, expensive.
Three, a zero.
- Vanja, well you see?
Mother it is martyr has stretched hands to Simeon Arkadevichu.
- About My God! - Short vskrik Simeon Arkadevicha has interrupted it
Complaints. Points have plopped down from its magnificent nose on a table - one
The handle has fallen off. - the small screw has taken off, - a suffering voice has told
Simeon Arkadevich. - All stand on places. And that it will be gone under
And I it will not find a refrigerator.
Simeon has fallen on chetverenki and almost utykajas a nose in
Parquet (a minus eight, that you want!) has started to feel a floor. Five
Minutes he grovelled at the feet of us - it was forbidden to us to move.
- All was gone, - Simeon has told, falling on the chair which has been filled up
Flour (Sic! Pelmeni!).
- Give I will sweep up a floor, - mum has offered.
- It will be lost, he such small, - did not cry nearly Simeon
Arkadevich.
Mother rigid step has followed a broom and a minute later has put out
Ill-starred small screw, and the truth appeared to the tiny.
- About, what happiness. - Simeon has snatched out at it a small screw. - you not
You know, where at us magnifying glass?
- What for to you glass?
- To screw in a small screw.
Minutes fifteen, having dropped to magnifying glass and
Having armed with a nailfile from matushkinogo manikjurnogo a set, it
Tried to get to a small screw.
- Uncle Podzher drives in a nail, - mum has venomously told and,
Having selected at Simeon Arkadevicha the points, two movements of a nail
Has screwed in an ill-starred detail. - give I will fill your pieces of paper. It
What is - 30101810500000000219?
- It is their settlement account.
- To go balmy it is possible. Here on two receipts the identical settlement
The bill. Means, money it is possible spljusovat and to pay at once, on
To one kvitochku. I as the financier speak it to you.
The further legend says, that Simeon has left the house in four
Mornings and in four thirty were already on a place. Most of all it
Has shaken that it has appeared the second. The first was dedulja on
To white "Field" - he welcomed the approached Simeon
Arkadevicha joyful shouts, as natives - Cook.
Hot pljushki with vanilla and raisin and a thermos from cocoa, carefully
Laid up by mum on a back seat, have reconciled Simeon Arkadevicha
With the validity, and he has fallen asleep.
He has woken up for half an hour before opening (that is in the half-eighth) and
Has found out behind the back never-ending turn. Simeon Arkadevich
Was glad the foresight, but it is unexpected
Gate of an institution have swung open and... Here it is necessary mhatovskaja
Pause, as at phrase pronouncing: "About Leningrad! About these hands
The dissolved bridges! "A court yard separating of a collar from actually
Stations where the tool control should take place,
Has been hammered by foreign cars of the Caucasian nationality. As they there
Have appeared, it was not clear. Whether hot east Dzhigits
Have got into a window. Whether have been dumped by a landing. And can, and
Were deployed in a court yard since evening.
Internationalist Simeon Arkadevich who is torn apart by the racist
Feeling of justice, has gone round foreign cars and it is demonstrative
vtyrilsja the first. Having called thereby mocking smiles at companions,
Making tool survey. No, they at all did not thirst
Simeon Arkadevicha's blood. As it is equal in a minute it was found out,
That the receipt on which the mother paid, wrong. nesmotrja
On that it was necessary to send both taxes on one settlement
To the bill (and so, sensibly arguing, taxes it was possible
spljusovat), it did not mean anything. That is
spljusovyvat taxes it is impossible. Why? Because. Questions are?
Questions are not present. Take away the receipt, pay taxes, as
It is necessary, and then come.
Simeon Arkadevich has rushed off in the nearest branch of the Savings Bank, still
Time has filled kvitochki with dvadtsatiznachnym the settlement account.
Itself certainly, once again all has paid. Also has returned on point
The tool control, in popular speech п п п -20.
There it under hands are white have forwarded on the stand - that is
Have connected to different computers which should objectively
To investigate a "five" status. Against the computer you will not trample!
And to whom will come in a head to argue with car? There and then on a wall
Phone - in case of abusings of companions, extortion hung
Bribes, humiliations of human advantage it is possible at once
To call in instance.
The computer has spat out a green bedsheet with George's image
pobedonostsa, piercing zmija on which hardly it was possible
To read pale grey bukovki. At Simeon Arkadevicha's "five"
There was a darkness of defects. Factor of non-uniformity of brake forces
On wheels of a forward axis, and also non-uniformity factor
Brake forces on wheels of a back axis have been estimated by the strange
In figures 0,9 and 0,26. That is why opposite to the column "a status the brake
Systems "there was a word"no"the big letters. That is"NO". No,
Actually even so: "NET" (under the document there was stamp GOS-R
OGIBDD MREO THE DEPARTMENT OF INTERNAL AFFAIRS OF JOINT-STOCK COMPANY MOSCOW TSAGAREISHVILI N.A.).
By the way, dedulja on "Field" too there has not passed the tool
The control: at it the wheel disk has appeared scratched. Terrible
Defect, isn't that so?
Simeon Arkadevich has taken symbolics on a piece of paper to heart,
Having realised, that zmy is it, our motorist (under the truth to tell,
Already the autohater), and sacred George with PIKoj (I remind, PEAK -
Point of the tool control) are companions at the computer.
And with that has gone home.
The husband of my mother has appeared not so is innocent, as it would like
To seem. That is he has quickly understood, that from the maiden
Pride and unwillingness to be soiled about a filthy lucre it -
It is literally - far will not leave. Short interrogation of acquaintances and
Subordinates has led to its bitter true: the companions having access
To the mysterious computer, have appeared are not incorruptible. Almost at
Everyone to whom Simeon Arkadevich addressed, there was an acquaintance,
Ready for a moderate payment to arrange the problemless
The tool control.
Simeon Arkadevich generously distributed the phone number. And already
In the evening the telephone set was broken off so, as if in the central
To the newspaper on the front page the marriage announcement has been printed: "Young
The perfect millionaire wishes to meet with ugly and poor
The man, it is desirable is more senior, which would take on itself care about
Its money ".
The first applicant for $150 (costs so much
The tool control) Simeon Arkadevich was frightened, the second
Quailed, the third has sent from lihosti, at fourth it has not liked
Voice. With fifth it has entered business negotiations.
Gentlemen have agreed to meet directly on the Reditch. Where,
As motorists, they strangled tell each other
The most terrible, the most impassable is PEAKS reptiles,
The tool control. At parting interlocutor Simeon
Arkadevicha, called Petej, has asked with hope: "It at you
Though goes? ".
All further was similar to service in the five-stars
Hotel. Having met with Petej about PEAK, Simeon Arkadevich was under
Hands preprovozhden in the nearest branch of the Savings Bank, where are white
Third time has paid for the tool control.
Having gone round the party huge turn of drivers, which
Polished, draili, blew off motes from the cars, Simeon
Arkadevich and Petja at once were rolled on a platform with computers.
Simeon Arkadevicha's class feeling, it feeling
Justice, was silent.
Computers was six. That is characteristic. To 1, 2 and 3
To computers drivers approached somehow carelessly and even (about horror!) on
Ragged cars. In their eyes was not iskatelnosti,
Desires to like. Having lowered a little glass in a cabin, they it is lazy
Were thrown by words with workers of PEAK. And any
Antagonism in their relations obviously it was not observed. But to 40,
5 and to 6 computers shivering drivers moored on
vydraennyh cars. They fussed, made advances to the station
Inspectors. More shortly, two worlds, two way of life.
Petja has brought up Simeon Arkadevicha as you understand, to 1
To the stand. Having left, it a minute later has come with the issued
Documents. Even the cowl was not required to be opened. And all
Procedure has occupied from force five minutes.
- Everything, - has told Petja, being excused for collars with Simeon
Arkadevichem and thrusting in a pocket the 150 dollars. - it is good, that
At you the car is perfectly in order. And some in general with documents the
Course come. If that - call.
- Petja, - Simeon Arkadevich, - you here that has taken an interest,
The chief?
As it has appeared, the kind young man had no not only
High ranks - even officer an epaulet.
Hardly it was found out later: the Moscow autoservices have prolonged term
Passages of the tool control for a month, and now
Muscovites-motorists have additional time, that
Slowly to find out the relations with kompjuterizovannym
Department. And phone in apartment of my family still
Overstrains: numerous incorruptible and worthy men
Suggest to help to Simeon Arkadevichu to pass the tool
The control. Cheaply.
<$>
//* an information Source: the Profile, 16.11.98
//* Reg. Nom. - 1081100257.24-------------------------------------------
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